Rabbit Hole Carnival: A Talk

Cel knocked on the door before she entered. “I’m guessing it did go well?”

“You don’t have to rub it in.” Renee replied. In her Pj, curled on the bed, and holding Inky close. “I knew you were most likely gonna be right, but I’m still upset.”

“I”m not here to rub anything in, and I think it perfectly reasonable to be upset.” Cel said. “I’m here to help my best friend get through something that was probably harder than I can imagine.” Cel sat right next to Renee.

“I just feel so stupid even trying again at all. What did I think was going to change?” Renee asked.

“Well you did tell me that quite a lot of conditions were met despite your mother’s continued support of Mike” Cel said. “And honestly? I was rather impressed by Nick being allowed to come at all.”

“Kind of wish he had stopped me.” Renee replied. “ Wish one of you had stopped me.”

“Well… I’m glad I wasn’t able to actually.” Cel said.

“What?” Renee turned to look at her.

“Yes, I remember what I said that morning.” Cel replied. “And I was a little upset that you even wanted to try for a bit, but that was only because I didn’t wanna see you get hurt again.”

“Well, that much I understood and know, and still do.” Renee said. “But what made you change your mind?”

“It wasn’t so much that I changed my mind. I still wish you didn’t have to.” Cel answered. “But I talked to mom about our fight afterwards, and she reminded me of all the times there have been clients who just want a chance at what they never got. How hard letting go of that really is.”

“Why won’t they, Cel?” Renee asked. “Do I really make it that hard?”

“Renee ‘Penmanship’ Shem!” Cel replied with a hug. “Did you make getting the 5 of us together hard? Did you make talking to every single person who ever needed help in this bar hard?”

“Well, no but—” Renee said.

“Did you make it hard for Nick to love you?” Cel replied. “What about my mom?”

“Your mom loves everyone,” Renee said. “She hardly counts.”

“Firstly, that’s not true in even the slightest. I will personally assure they’re plenty of people she doesn’t trust, and even hates. And secondly, even if she doesn’t count, that doesn’t explain all the other times.”

“Fine… yeah that’s very true. But still I’ve never seen your mom hate anyone.” Renee said.

“Few have. Even I’ve only seen a handful of them, but she does talk about them. All the parents she no longer trusts. All the people’s Exs, both male and female, that broke a heart for no good reason. A LOT of abusive dads, in particular, Ironically enough.”

“Wait, but you just said she was the one who got you to… understand? Right?” Renee asked.

“Yes. Yes she was.” Cel began. “And I'm quite sure she’ll hate Mike just as much as she ever did, but she said and explained that is something you are just gonna have to see for yourself. And how could I blame someone for wanting something they were taught they were supposed to have?”

“She said that?” Renee asked. “But… I mean it’s not the same, but I do have that now, don’t I?”

“Answered your own question there, didn’t you?” Cel said. “It’s not the same. It’s very reasonable, and a much better substitute than your other option. That is true, but you already know that. And you felt safe enough to try, or at the very least wanted too.”

“Yeah, but only because I was lied to again, so I don’t think I’ll be trying again anytime soon…” Renee replied. “But I would love to go to the aquarium with you again?”

“Well they're still open, and it should be pretty slow.” Cel said. “Get dressed, and I let my mom know where Nick is taking us.”

“Sounds great.” Renee replied.